I’ve been at odds with myself for over a decade. On the outside, I’m seemingly laid back. I’m not one to confront people or have an emotional outburst.
But just below the surface, I’m thinking and feeling—a lot.
Because of this disconnect, the slightest display of emotions means people write me off as “easily offended” or “too emotional.” They see my feelings as out of character for me (or maybe their sense of what’s “normal”).
This tends to be the case for a lot of highly sensitive people. …
If being in love is one of the greatest experiences you’ll go through, then heartbreak is amongst the most excruciating. It feels as if life loses meaning; your world stops while everyone else’s carries on.
But an interesting thing about the ending of love is that we survive it. Those tear-stained pillows are replaced with the hope of loving again. You eventually start to tread water when you only ever felt like you were drowning.
“What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives.” — Rupi Kaur
As much as heartbreak is a painful…
We all want our lives to be successful. But “success” looks different for everyone.
Maybe for you, success means thriving in your career and having financial freedom. For me, it looks like solid friendships and taking care of my mental health. For others, it might be having a happy family life.
Whatever your definition of success may be, they all ride on a few fundamental truths that are hard to accept. These truths go against what we've been told and the lies fed to us about how life works.
But the moment you accept these truths about life, everything becomes…
If you hurt an animal, it’ll run away. But that’s not always the same case for humans.
Love is an alluring experience. So much so that some people will do anything to have it, even if it means being hurt along the way. What’s worse is the pain is often emotional, so it’s not always easy to notice when it’s happening.
But love doesn’t need to be painful. A relationship doesn’t have to equate to crying yourself to sleep most nights. Choosing to be with another person can not only be mostly painless, but it can also be healing.
One of the first pieces I wrote on Medium was an essay about a relationship I had in college.
I depicted a recurring scene of me crying in my car to escape my boyfriend. And ended it from a place of years of therapy, self-reflection, and a realization. That boyfriend was a classic case of a narcissist.
You know those tire spikes some exits have? Once you drive over them, you can’t reverse because you’ll destroy your tires? Dating a narcissist is just like that. Once they’re in your life, they’re near impossible to remove.
What’s scary about dating a…
Insecurities wreak havoc on your world, love life included.
Relationships can feel confusing enough; mixing everything you struggle to feel confident about makes love feel altogether exhausting. It’s like trying to tread water but having someone pull you down from below.
I’ve been in that position. My insecurities played a part in the downfall of more relationships than I’d like to admit. Not to mention that feeling unconfident, unworthy, ugly, and like a failure sucked in general.
But the thing about insecurities is that they’ll control your life until you decide to do something about them. …
Arthur C. Brooks is, in my mind, a faceless man whose words I read every week. I assume he most certainly has a face, yet it’s his mind I’m more interested in.
Brooks is a contributing writer at The Atlantic, along with a professor and podcast host. Every week he contributes to his column, “How to Build a Life: a column about pointing yourself toward happiness.”
I stumbled upon Brooks’s column when I wasn’t that happy. His insightful words, thoughtful research, and actionable steps helped me turn my life around at a time when I desperately wanted to.
Self-improvement books prey on people making people believe their life isn’t good enough. That by hustling harder, organizing your life more, and changing your mindset around money, you can radically change your life.
But many of them miss the bigger picture.
Every person out there wants one similar thing: happiness. While financial stability and a good night’s sleep can liven your mood, there are more effective ways to achieve this ultimate, larger goal.
Because you see, happiness (and all the building blocks that lead up to it) are life-long choices. You can’t “work hard, play hard” to a life that…
People describe getting into a new relationship as a moment of bliss and enamor. You’re giddy with excitement, everything is new, and there’s no care in the world because you’re in a new relationship.
But I call bullshit. For me, things were a bit different.
Sure, dating someone new comes with many exciting feelings, but it’s like any significant transition; there’s an adjustment period involved. It’s a lot of change in a matter of days, including the loss of something you’ll no longer have: who you were when you were single.
Three years ago, I took a year off from…
I’ve been terrified to do an online workshop. I figured no one would come or, worse, only one person would come, and it would be awkward. That fear kept me from ever trying for years.
But last week, I decided to go for it. I gave myself three weeks to market the crap out of an Anxious Attachment workshop I created. Little did I know, I’d only need 36 hours for my workshop to sell out (and add a second date due to the high demand).
The thing about TikTok is that, for most people, you can’t be sure what…