When you think about your love life thus far, has it been filled with a lot of over-thinking, self-doubt, and anxiety? If so, chances are you have an anxious attachment style.
That’s exactly how I used to be. I’d stare at my phone, waiting for my dates to text me back. The slightest change of tone in my ex’s voice would set me off. If overthinking were a sport, I would have many gold medals.
Someone with an anxious attachment worries a lot about their love life and makes decisions out of fear. You may have found that this keeps…
I hate calling myself emotionally mature. Partly because, at times, I still act like a child. But mostly because it makes me sound like I think I’m holier than thou.
That’s far from the case.
I gained the emotional maturity I have today through a lot of pain. That might sound melodramatic, but dark times formed all of the minds of people I admire, so I’m sticking to my guns.
Emotional maturity came once I admitted I didn’t know squat; that the emotions I thought governed my world were not only wrong but, at times, fabricated from irrational standings. …
Love is what makes life worth living.
Or at least, that’s what I was told as someone who grew up in the ’90s; this sentiment about love seemed to be everywhere.
Disney movies involved women being saved by knights in shining armor. My friends and I lived for the day our Seventeen Magazine issues came in the mail, shelling out love advice like crack to pubescent teenagers. Every time I drove somewhere with my mom, I heard Dr. Laura’s harsh love advice.
I was told that love was this thing that would rock my world. …
Creating a fulfilling life that brings me joy and molding it exactly how I want was the most excruciating journey I’ve been through.
You’d think that authentically changing your life would come smoothly and just feel right, right? That’s not the case.
Change is uncomfortable. You step out of what you’ve always known into a life of unknown. After all, if change were easy, wouldn’t everyone do it?
Many people mistake certain feelings as them heading in the wrong direction. Or, worse, once someone experiences those negative feelings, it paralyzes them in fear. …
Love is one of the hardest experiences you’ll go through.
Everyone wants love, yet it’s not that easy to find. There’s a lot of heartbreak and vulnerability involved, not to mention all the confusing scenarios you have to navigate.
One of those scenarios you might find yourself in is an ex trying to come back into your life. Many people suggest cutting ties and never giving them a second chance, but life is more nuanced than that.
The question remains: should you give your ex a second chance?
Well, that depends on your circumstances. I won’t sit here and act…
Back in 2017, I dated a man we’ll call Jack.
One weekend, we went to a party with a group of Jack’s friends. I’d been walking around, meeting new people, as he caught up with his old crew. Eventually, I decided the living room was a safe zone to observe the party.
But as I stood next to the kitchen, I could see Jack laughing with his friends. I sipped my vodka soda and felt the cold liquid run down my throat as I clenched my teeth to hold back the tears.
He thought I couldn’t hear him, but I…
There are a lot of articles out there about how to land more dates.
“Don’t act too interested!”
“Compliment them, so they want you more.”
“Don’t text them back right away.”
But I hate all of that advice.
This article won’t try to convince you to act like someone you’re not, nor will I suggest you play games to find a relationship. Because neither of those is what helps you win at love.
The best daters are authentic. They seek to understand and connect, not play coy and create confusion. They’re in touch with their feelings rather than trying to…
By far, the best part of maturing into the person I am today is the self-awareness I gained. I don’t know how I survived life without it.
One token of wisdom that self-awareness brought with it is that our thoughts greatly shape our reality. Reading that, you may have just audibly groaned or rolled your eyes, but hear me out.
I once was a freelancer mired in self-doubt. I let uncertainty, laziness, and embarrassment control me for far too long. And the catcher is: it wasn’t some invisible force keeping me this way; it was merely my mindsets.
If a relationship ends, is it because the couple “wasn’t meant to be” or a few too many mistakes were made?
Of course, you’d need more context to decide. But there are plenty of relationships and marriages that end because they couldn’t form a healthy relationship, which has nothing to do with chemistry.
A woman may spend years with a man feeling like he doesn’t care for her until she decides to leave one day. When, all along, her partner thought she didn’t care, so he withheld his affection.
A couple might go all-in on being “perfect” in every way…
Wanting your life to be different isn’t a tall order.
People change all the time. We’re humans, after all. With every experience, lesson learned, and knowledge gained our reality changes. But that change doesn’t always come as quickly or easily as we want.
If you desperately desire your life to be different but can’t seem to get there, the problem is most likely you. I know, harsh. But it’s a reality you can’t afford to ignore.
Many people live their whole lives never realizing that the only person holding them back is themselves.They’re …