How To Care Less and Live Authentically

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Me via Blake Eiermann

I recently posted an article that was a bit (seriously, a bit) controversial. You can read it here if you so please.

I worried a little. Within an hour, someone already commented on the piece with backlash.

Two hours later, my mom texted me, saying she enjoyed the article. I replied, saying thanks, but it’s a bit controversial. She said controversy is good.

I’m not in the writing business to write fluffy bullshit you can find littered all over the internet. I’m not interested in “How-To” articles that seem so generic you wonder why you ever clicked on the goddamn piece.

But time and time again, I find myself running back to these; like a safety net. I leap into them with trust and assurance that people will accept them.

And then a bit of my soul dies.

They’re the articles I’m embarrassed by; the ones I don’t want people to consider as my work.

So why in the world do I write them?

I used to care a lot more about what people thought of me in general. A few years passed, and I realized I cared a bit less. Whoa, I thought. This feels good.

So now I’m on a journey, or perhaps a mission: to dig up the few fucks I have left and responsibly recycle them. I never want to see them again.

I’m done caring what other people think. How about you?

There’s a whole lot of genericism in this world.

We’ve gotten to the point where even the slightest deviation from the norm is thought to be “unique.”

But in reality, we’re walking around with relatively the same clothes, same cars, same phone, and same daily routines. It’s not unique. It’s actually an epidemic.

What’re the chances we all naturally like the same thing?

Slim to none.

We’re scared. We’re scared to be different and out of that fear we assimilate. Instead of standing out, we stand in. We choose what everyone else does; say what everyone else thinks.

And most people continue that path of — to be frank — mediocracy. Not that their choices are mediocre in themselves, but their decisions are mediocre in comparison to their true desires.

As a result, many people feel unfulfilled. Mental health issues are running rampant in our country. Everyone is fucking depressed or anxious, and it’s because we’re all stuck in our heads and living a neatly contained life of assimilation.

But what if you could start living an authentic life right now?

It all starts with awareness. When you want to do something, but are afraid of the opinion’s of others, do it anyway.

Override your instinct to give in to fear. Slap it in the face for daring to approach you and do whatever it is you wanted to do.

Then, repeat. Over and over again. Until one day, you’re living more authentically.

I used to think I loved hiking and brunch. I mean, who doesn’t? Read any girl’s profile on Bumble, and I guarantee you 80% will mention one of those.

But when I started to hone in on what I actually enjoyed, hiking and brunch weren’t at the top — not even close.

Sure, I enjoy a good hike in autumn — because hiking in Los Angeles in summer is a choice only a masochist, Instagram influencer, or tourist would make.

But alone? Solo? Sans another human being either dragging me down or showing me up? That’s my jam (sometimes). I don’t want to try to hold a conversation while I hike. I can barely catch a fucking breath.

And breakfast food is But my stomach is not equipped to down sugary alcohol with either eggs or even more sugary french toast. Especially not when it all costs me the same as a week’s worth of groceries.

It’s crucial to figure out what it is you love to do. Not what looks good on Instagram or what your basic, brunch-loving friends like to do.

I know it’s a scary feat; leaping away from the norm. Pursuing an exotic life that can’t be found scrolling through your feed.

But it’s better than being like everyone else. Because honestly, how boring.

I refuse to believe we’re on this planet with the intent of merely fitting in.

No, forget that. And forget what everyone else thinks.

Live your life however you please. Do this world a favor and show it something its never seen.

Written by

Dating, relationship, and self-love writer. Anxious with dating? >> // IG: @WordsWithKirstie // //

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