Instead of Seeking Comfort in Others, I’m Finding Comfort in Myself

Photo by Eli DeFaria on Unsplash

I have been in many relationships — too many.

I would use them as a way to feel wanted and stable. Almost like, if I have a boyfriend, then I’m good. Then someone is always there for me.

But along my journey in life, I started to realize (or more like smacked in the face), that I lacked self-confidence. I was really unhappy with who I was.

So as fun as these relationships started out, they would soon become a toxic place for me to retreat to when all my insecurities started to surface.

I kept running to others and at one point other countries, for comfort and validation. I couldn’t fathom the thought of being alone.

But when my depression took a nasty turn for the worse around the time my last relationship ended, it was blatantly apparent that I needed to forgo boyfriends and repair the most important relationship in my life: the one with myself.

So I made a promise to myself: I would stay single for six months and work through my issues that affected my self-worth.

Well, I made that decision one year ago. And now, I can confidently say that when life gets hard, I find that I am turning inward instead of running to someone else for comfort.