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What The Quarantine Triggering My Eating Disorder Taught Me About Mental Health
After six years of recovery, the quarantine feels like I could relapse at any moment.
It’s an on-going debate between people in the eating disorder community on whether a person can ever be fully “recovered.” I’m not sure where I stand. But at the very least, I thought I’d come far in my eating disorder recovery. That is until the pandemic happened.
Sooner than I realized, LA went into a lockdown via an order from the mayor. Suddenly, everyone was staying indoors, and you had to sell a kidney just to buy some toilet paper. My boyfriend and I had to decide on where to quarantine; his family’s home was our best option. We quickly packed up some clothes and our laptops and moved to the San Fernando Valley to isolate. Life in my new abode meant giving up my sense of normalcy, including my relationship with food I’d spent years fixing.
I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2014 when I was a senior in college. An unhealthy relationship with an emotionally abusive man led me to a place of unworthiness that I couldn’t escape. The first time I skipped a meal, I felt the hunger pains consume the sadness that resided in me. That one meal became many avoided meals, and soon my life revolved around what I ate, or lack…
