Published inHello, Love·May 3Member-only6 Changes in My Relationship That Led to My EngagementSix months ago, I got engaged to my now-fiance. Yet, I know, without a doubt, if I were the same person I had been just five years ago, this engagement wouldn’t have happened. Just five years ago, I was hurting my relationships without even realizing it. A beautiful part about…Relationships5 min readRelationships5 min read
Feb 15Member-onlyThe Key to Making Dating Hurt Less is Re-framing RejectionHave you ever taken someone ghosting you extremely personally? Has someone unmatched you on dating apps, and it felt like they were basically saying, “ew, why did I match with this person??” If so, it means you’re human. We’re wired to dislike rejection. Back when survival was a top priority…Relationships3 min readRelationships3 min read
Feb 15Member-onlyAre You Emotionally Unavailable, Too? And How to Change ThatTime and time again, clients come to me because they keep dating emotionally unavailable people. And, time and time again, I find that part of the reason is that they are emotionally unavailable, too. So let’s talk about the signs you might be emotionally unavailable when dating. If you have…Dating5 min readDating5 min read
Feb 7, 2022Member-onlyIs Part of the Healing Process Other People?How eating disorder rehab taught me more than how not to starve myself. — The first time someone suggested “rehab” to me, I was sitting in my therapist’s office in tears. “I think it could do you some good,” she stated, with concern etched into her light blue eyes and a warm tone you’d expect from someone you pay $150 an hour. I’d been…Self7 min readSelf7 min read
Published inMind Cafe·Jan 9, 2022Member-only7 Ways to Reinvent Your Dating LifeFed up of the same old cycle? Try these things instead. — Say you have a car that isn’t working. What do you do? Continue trying to drive it, hoping it miraculously fixes itself? Or do you take it in for a fine-tuning, replace parts that need replacing, and try to upgrade it from what it was before? Chances are, you’d choose…Relationships5 min readRelationships5 min read
Published inMind Cafe·Jan 4, 2022Member-only5 Resolutions to Improve Your Relationship in 2022Here’s the thing about New Year’s Resolutions: people do them all wrong. They get too caught up in the pressure of January 1st. If they slip up, they lose all motivation and give up. But I like to think of them as an ongoing goal. “Mess ups” are just part…Relationships6 min readRelationships6 min read
Published inMind Cafe·Dec 6, 2021Member-only6 Signs Someone is Emotionally Attracted to YouBecause relationships aren’t just about physical attraction. — Physical attraction is primal. To have someone be physically attracted to you feels great, sure. But it doesn’t say much about who you are, beyond your face symmetry and physique. When it comes to love and relationships, our deepest desire is for someone to be emotionally attracted to us. Ego…Love5 min readLove5 min read
Published inHello, Love·Nov 16, 2021Member-onlyWhy Couples Therapy Isn’t Just For Failing Relationships“You’re an odd couple,” our therapist said to my boyfriend and me, “most people only come when their relationship is failing miserably. The fact you’re here to improve your relationship before it’s broken is an anomaly.” While that comment boosted my ego a bit, my therapist’s observation from decades of…Relationships5 min readRelationships5 min read
Published inMind Cafe·Nov 13, 2021Member-only4 Things I Learned In Couples Therapy About CommunicationMany people think couples therapy is for people who have a failing relationship. But those people are shooting themselves in the foot. No matter how great of a match you are with someone, there will always be issues. …Relationships5 min readRelationships5 min read
Published inMind Cafe·Nov 10, 2021Member-onlyThe Reason It Feels Like Life Is Working Against YouAnd how to change that. — Have you ever felt like you’re broken? That the people around you have everything figured out, but you didn’t get the memo for whatever reason? Same. That’s probably what exacerbated my depression and anxiety. But I don’t want to focus on mental illness in this article. …Life5 min readLife5 min read